It’s the thing we all seem to strive for nowadays.
Our work takes many hours of our day. We are so busy with meetings, calls, demanding bosses that when we come home we have used up many of our energy points.
But then the other life starts: there are kids to pick up from or drive to places, groceries to buy, meals to cook, doctors to see, gardens to mow, partners and family to please, activities to attend…
There is hardly any time left to breathe, let along energy to do anything. But what about those fun things we really want to do? The things that speak to our heart, that make us glow and come alive? Right?
So we muddle through our days and read articles about how to achieve work-life balance.
We cut our working hours (and paycheck). We cut some activities. And in the end, we cut ourselves short.
We end up being burned out, bored out, unhappy, depressed, in some sort of crisis and we do not know how to improve the whole situation.
Where the hell is that balance? And how do you get it???
All the articles didn’t help. Cutting things out, saving time here and there. All that didn’t help either.
Well, let me give you the butt-ugly truth here people!
There is no work life balance.
Nope, doesn’t exist.
No, really. It doesn’t.
Because things are not black and white. Things don’t weigh the same. Things don’t fit on one of the two sides of the scale. Every day is different and there is no magic weight that fits all. Life is messy.
Can we all agree on that?
So trying to find work-life balance, or just plain simply BALANCE, is like trying to put slimy goo onto a slippery scale: you will never get it right and you will spend your time jumping from side to the other as the gooey stuff slips off.
And honestly, when I look at a lot of people, that is exactly how they look. Jumping from one side to the other, trying to prevent the goo to go.
So here’s how you do it:
Get rid of the need for balance. Get rid of the scale on which work and life are weighted.
Now all we have left is a flat surface, right? Much easier to spread the goo, no?
Enough metaphores. So what do we strive for instead of BALANCE then?
What you should try to achieve instead is HARMONY.
Harmony is a much broader, ‘grayer’ state. It contains more than just work and life. It contains everything you are and desire: work, life, family, friends, art, all the things you love to do, all the things you don’t like so much. But instead of having to put them into either one of the two categories on the scale, you can now try to put them where they belong.
And where do they belong?
Well, that is up to you to define.
How much time do you actually need or want to bus your kids around? Is that good for their and your sanity? If not, change it. Or get help.
How much time do you need or want for your personal fun things? Do you have enough? If not, change it.
It’s all about finding harmony. For you, for your family, for all the things that make up your life.
It takes some time to get it right. Because you are not the only player in the harmony game. And it’s also an always changing game because schedules change, people grow, things happen.
When you have a broader HARMONY in mind instead of a two-faced balance, it will be much easier to achieve it.
If you still have no clue how to go about this, contact me so I can give you some tools to help you.