Some time ago, I spent a holiday week doing loads of things with my boys. Visiting Amsterdam and its museums (both fun and educational), learning all about windmills, shopping, eating out, meeting friends and family. It was a busy week. It was fun. It is what we like to do. Stuff! Creating memories.

I posted pictures of our adventures on Facebook and Instagram and some of my female followers responded by saying: “Oh my God, you are doing so much with your children. I feel bad about not doing anything with mine. I should really get our of my pajamas and go do stuff.’

Like them, I am sure you have situations where you say (before/during/after): ‘I should’.

  • I should do more things like Miranda with her kids
  • I should wear a suit to that meeting
  • I should have done it this way or that
  • I should eat less cookies/drink less wine/exercise more
  • I should get a haircut I should be less nervous
  • I should not sit on the couch and binge watch Dr House
  • I should …
  • I should…
    (fill in the blanks)

This happens often right?

I have the following questions:

Who wrote that rule book of should’s?
Who are you measuring yourself against?
Who or what created this bar and put it at that height?

Maybe it was your parents, who always asked ‘the best of you’ but then when you gave your best it was not enough.
Maybe it was your sibling, who came before you and was ‘more perfect’ than you and you feel you need to measure up to him/her.
Maybe it was your boss, who was never satisfied with the work you did even though it was pretty damn good.
Maybe it is you who puts the bar to high.

And I want to add something very important to any of the above statements:

Whose bar is it anyway?

Because I may like to do loads of things with my boys when we have a few days off. But that is MY bar. Not yours.

So before you utter another should, look at that bar.

Is it someone else’s?

If so, would you ever be able or wanting to reach it?

If not, why bother?
Maybe you like parts of that bar. And in that case you need to look at those and see how you can integrate them into your life and create your own bar to live up to.

Does that make sense?

Now you should go and look at those should’s of yours! 🙂