You have been to a retreat, or a vacation, or it’s the end of the year, and you’ve made all sorts of resolutions during that quiet time on how you will improve your life when you’re back into daily routine.
And it worked. For a while. For weeks, months even, you have been doing great, implementing what you’ve learned, sticking to your plan and keeping your resolutions.
But after six months (or even three weeks :-)) some cracks appear in that foundation. Routine kicks in. Life happens. Shit happens. Plans get thrown over board.
And you forgot to set your intention in the morning for the day ahead.
You drink a glass of wine on a weeknight, although you’d sworn to drink alcohol only on weekends.
You eat the whole bar of chocolate in one go instead of just tasting a little piece.
You don’t exercise for a whole week because ‘things just came in between’.
You yell at your kids instead of counting to ten and breathing.
The next day you forgive yourself and get back on the ‘better ME’ train.
But the week after your cat gets sick, a colleague at works gets promoted over you and you attend a perfect party organized by a mother of 5 kids and you wonder why you are the only one who can’t seem to get her life together.
And thus, what were tiny cracks a week ago, become holes and before you know it your whole plan, your resolutions and your intentions are going down the drain and you’re back to ‘good old me’.
You’ve lost it. This stuff is just not for you.
Rest assured: this is NORMAL!
It happens to the best of us. But as Vince Lombardi said: ‘It doesn’t matter how many times you get knocked down, but how many times you get up.’
So here are a few tips on how to get back on the train when you’ve fallen off.
1) CHANGE YOUR INTENTION
6 months can be a lifetime. A lot can happen and change and what suited you half a year ago may not fit you anymore today. Look at that intention/plan/resolution. Is it still you? Is it still what you want to BE? If not, change it. Simple as that. An intention has to be real to fit you. So rewrite it!
2) CHANGE THE HOW
At my retreats, I show people how setting your intention daily can have a huge impact on your life. But a client of mine said:’I just can’t seem to do it every day.’ It’s perfectly okay if this daily routine does not fit you. Define for yourself what does! Setting your intention for the week? Choosing just a word to accompany you?
3) SHIFT YOUR ATTENTION
Energy flows where attention goes. What do you need to do to make sure your attention is on your intention? Can you make a vision board so that your plan can hang in your office? Can you use an app on your phone to remind you when you need it? What clutter do you need to eliminate? What you focus on grows. If you can find ways to focus on your intention/goal/resolution, it will become integrated in your way of life instead of a destination.
4) TAKE THE RIGHT ACTION
Often we do all of the above. We focus on our intention, set it daily, share it with people. And still things are off track. Why is that? Probably because you have not taken any conscious decision on what to do next, on which action to take. Oh sure, you have been doing so many things. But are they really meaningful or just a distraction or procrastination? Setting a goal needs to go in line with commitment if you want to reach it.
5) GET AN ACCOUNTABILITY BUDDY
Nothing moves you faster in the direction of your goals than an accountability buddy. This can be a coach who kicks your butt when you need it, or a running partner who pulls you up when you don’t feel like exercising.
6) TAKE A BREAK
Sometimes you just want it all to go away. You want to just drop it all and do nothing.
You can’t see your reflection in running water. So STOP!
Stand still for a while. Listen to yourself, your breathing, your thoughts. Look at yourself, at what you have been doing and how. What does that picture look like? Is it in line with the one on your goal or vision board? Sometimes it’s okay to give into this confusion. Give yourself a break. Spend the next two weeks not thinking about resolutions and improvements AT ALL. Sit in front of the television, eat cookies and watch The Good Wife. It’s okay! You will realize after a while that this inertia is not a dream life either 🙂 You will pick yourself up and start showing up again.
Intentions, like goals and resolutions are malleable things. They are not cut in stone. You chisel that stone to create the life that you want. It won’t be perfect like Michelangelo’s David (I never liked his hair anyway…). But it will be your life, with all the ups and downs that are part of every one’s path.