I live in small village in a small country.
I don’t have a Starbucks I go to every morning before work.
I don’t even have a bakery I pass by on – we don’t do bagels in the morning…
But I have many places I regularly go to: supermarket, beautician, clothes shop(s), hairdresser, your work…
Being a regular has many advantages. People know you by name and they know what you want. So when you walk out of there you feel comfortable, happy and often prettier (in case of the hairdresser and beautician).
Comfortable is good. Of course it is. Comfortable is lying on your couch in front of the tv or reading a good book under your favorite blanket. There is nothing wrong with that.
However, comfortable is not new. It’s not exciting (otherwise it would be called exciting and not comfortable, get it?). Comfortable is more ‘same old same old’ than ‘creatively new’.
Now, I am not about to change hairdresser, just to be daring or try something new. Although… hold that thought…
I used to go to the same hairdresser for years. I was happy and comfortable. Then someone proposed to take me to her hairdresser. Which got a negative physical reaction from me. The last time I agreed to that (I was in my early twenties) made me come out looking (and feeling) like I was thirty. This was the early nineties…you get the picture!
But I trusted this friend. She had just done a whole ‘what’s your season’ color analysis (another stepping out of my comfort zone act) and I had to admit I came out wearing things that actually did enhance my skin tone and look. So why not give the hairdresser a try too?
Lo and behold, the cut and my hair looked stunning. Natural even, not like I’d just come out of the hairdresser. “Wow. Am I glad I did this.” were my thoughts and I never ever returned to that other hairdresser again.
So what holds us in our comfortable positions and hangouts?
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Fear:
we are so afraid of what might happen, of what people might think, of going out on a limb, of having to face ‘something’ and not knowing what to do… -
Insecurity:
we are not confident enough to ‘dare’ something (yes, changing hairdresser can be quite daring… to a woman at least), we are looking for excuses, help, you name it… -
Laziness:
comfortable is often the ‘path of least resistance’. It doesn’t take any ‘work’ to stay here. -
Safety:
comfortable is safe. And we all crave security. -
Other people:
our parents, our friends, our colleagues, our loved ones… they all want our best. They also all want us to remain who we are - a person they know well – or where we are. They want us to be happy of course, but they don’t want us to change. And we all want recognition, love and approval. So we listen to them. And stick with comfortable.
Why do we need to push our comfort boundaries (at least from time to time)?
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“You block your dream when you allow your fear to grow bigger than your faith” — Mary Manin Morrissey
Fear is nothing but False Evidence Appearing Real. Fear is only as deep as your mind allows. So tell yourself that you are not afraid. Try something new. Start small. -
“Each one of us requires the spur of insecurity to force us to do our best. ” — Harold W. Dodds
When you feel insecure about yourself or something, you have usually reached the border of your comfort zone. It’s good to know where that boundary is. And sometimes it’s better to just jump it – see what happens.
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“Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.” — Jules Renard
When you feel bored, not much is happening. It probably means you are in a rut, routine has settled in and nothing new is created. Do step out of that, start by doing something (like getting up and running around). Action creates energy. So, leap and the net will appear!
- “Insisting on perfect safety is for people who don’t have the balls to live in the real world” — Mary Shafer
We often have the wrong interpretation of what safety really means. Most of life’s risks and dangers we really have no control over. But leaving your comfort zone is very plannable and thus controllable. So before you say that you can’t do something ‘because it’s not safe’ have a look again at what that ‘safe’ really means and whether it corresponds to the real world. -
“We must not allow other people‘s limited perception to define us.” –Virginia Satir
Of course we should listen to other people. But only WE can find our path, define our life.
Stepping out of our comfort zone makes us alive, happy, successful and (hopefully) wiser.
It is the place where we become our most creative because it is where new ideas are born and new roads paved.
So step over that line, with your toes and see how it looks over there. You might like it!