The greatest discovery of all time is that a person can change his future by merely changing his attitude – Oprah Winfrey
Change is the buzzword everywhere at the moment. A Greek philosopher is known to have said that ‘Change is the only constant.’
And while I agree that Change is uncomfortable, it can also be full of opportunities.
There are of course good and bad reasons to change:
One should not change for someone else
Some might want to transform their personality to keep their partner for example. However, it is impossible to desire for the other. When we try to redefine ourselves for someone else we interpret their needs, not ours. And hence the base for change is falsified.
One should change for oneself
As the change concerns us, it has to be a personal move. The wonderful thing about it is that the other (the partner,…) will of course profit from our transformation.
One should not change to flee reality
A love story turning bad, a daily rythm that stresses us and makes us unhappy…and up pops the need to change and turn the page. But when we flee, the first thing we encounter on our road is exactly what we have wanted to get away from. We change jobs to get away from mobbing colleagues and around the corner the new colleagues are doing just the same. To change one has to first face one’s own demons.
One should change to confront one’s reality
Change necessitates to be ready for a profound exploration of oneself and the relations to others. This entails going through some kind of crisis. If it is painful it is because it obliges us to question our certitudes and to consider our dark side…before attempting to change.
One should not change as a reaction
Changing as a reaction to something, for example after a breakup, becoming the opposite of what one has been before, or behaving in a way that does not correspond to one’s moral or inner feelings. Founded on the lie to oneself, this type of change is obviously ephemeral and may generate a painful shift.
One should change to enrich oneself
Change means enriching oneself with ‘other elsewheres’, hence open up to others and other situations, learn to understand and get to know them. In the long run, this can become a way to acquire a certain power, but a power put ‘at the service’ and not ‘against’ others.
Site of interest:
Changing Minds
Everybody’s changing by Keane
Dear Miranda, I beliefe change is a constant in our lifes and as such not negative or positive. The important bit is the attitude whith which we tackle the changes that come our way and those changes that we need to initiate for one or another reason. Attitude is the changing factor that helps us to embrace the challenges (the things we want/need to change) as opportunities to grow! x
@ Sonja: I totally agree that attitude is everything. And it is tough, especially when you’re slap bang in the middle of a nasty experience and it’s leaving you drained and angry and sad. It’s hard to then be looking at the positive side. But it’s definitely a growth path, no matter your attitude. You always learn through change.
Thanks for your input.
M